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There are two schools of thought on the End of Days. Some think the whole world’s rotation will go off-kilter and cause mass destruction. Others think a virus will sweep across the land, creating a Zombie Apocalypse. How do you prepare when you don’t know what's coming?
Five Tips to Prepare for Any Apocalyptic Event:
1) Find a spaceship – A spaceship will get you off Earth no matter what. There are many eccentric people who have looked into this option; find one and start sucking up now!
2) Start Hoarding – Whichever way it goes, you’ll need food. Skip the rice (no one on Survivor ever fantasizes about rice). Get vats of peanut butter instead. It has lots of protein and can curb that sugar craving – it can probably be used as a glue in an emergency too, though you may want to consult some old MacGyver reruns to verify that.
3) Take a Wilderness Survival class (or watch the box set of Survivorman) – Even if you have hit Costco, at some point you’ll find yourself in a situation. Survivorman can show you which berries and fungi are poisonous (you don’t want to end up like Foxface in the Hunger Games). Plus, you’ll learn how to drink your own urine. Bonus!
4) Start Working Out – Not just running and lifting weights. Learn the fine art of shovel-wielding. You never know who you may need to fend off. A good guide for this is the movie Zombieland.
5) Master the art of Zombie make-up – If you find yourself suddenly posing as a Living Dead Girl, you’ll want to look the part. Suggestion? Consult Rob Zombie. He’s the master!
8 comments:
I would LOVE to take a survival class--except, would they let us have a razor? Bc I NEED my razor--I have an armpit hair phobia.
TMI???
=D
Debra, I would think a razor would be a definite must. Besides getting rid of armpit hair, it has infinite uses in the survival arena!
I would have a hard time surviving without coffee.
There's always bleach. I've heard rumors that after it sits for prolonged periods, the chlorine dissipates and it becomes drinkable. Alternative to purified water? Possibly.
Hmmm, if I had to choose between evaporated bleach or my own urine, which would I choose? :)
Oh yes, the zombie makeup is a must, though you would have to somehow come up with scent masker so you don't actually become a zombie.
And as far as the bleach or pee, I'm all about the pee, think about how stinky urine would be after not having drank any water...oh wait, there is the scent masker!
I just happened upon your blog and how cool! I love finding debut authors blogs...helps me imagine the glorious day when it might be me:)
I'm working on #4 ... And I'd stockpile instant coffee :) I think caffeine will be extra-necessary during/after the apocalypse!
I think I would need a flint or something to help with firemaking, I get cold to easy. Fun read Laura,
Marianne
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